"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost” – The Dalai Lama
As much as I like to call myself a
wanderer, I’m not sure if I truly deserve that title. I think I have always had
a plan – a picture in my head of what I need to accomplish and a never-ending
to-do list that begs me to check each thing off as quickly as possible so as to
make room for all the new things I have to do each day. So even though I feel
this tugging in my soul, this desperate need to break free of the monotony of
this life, I keep crossing things off and I keep adding in new things every single
day. Like my brain is ten steps ahead of my heart. Sure, I’ve made decisions
that have caused this plan to veer off slightly in new directions, but there
has always been this vague, ever-present map that I’ve felt the need to follow.
Like if I don’t take this one particular exit, everything will somehow, someway
implode.
I
think this past year has taught me not to fear the crumbling plans, and not to
bury my gut instincts. In some ways my
plans have collapsed this year, but I’m a firm believer in this saccharine
fodder for the greeting card industry – all things happen for a reason. Taking
it a step further, I think that there are positive aspects of every heartbreak,
every disappointment, every tragedy – you just have to look for them. So here I
go, really confused and excited and worried about where I’m heading and whether
the choices I make are going to derail me.
And
I think it’s just what I need.
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