Day #42: Rivers and Roads (MS)

I woke up in Jackson this morning (afternoon) and was instantly glad that I wasn't moving onto New Orleans just yet. Part of this trip for me is about following what feels right and learning to trust my own instincts, even when they don't line up with other people's expectations of me. Now, the decision to lengthen my time in Mississippi and shorten my time in Louisiana may not seem like a big deal, and I guess it's not. But at the same time, strangely, it is.

We spent the afternoon lounging around, both inside and outside, as we talked about almost everything and watched our respective television shows. For me it was finishing up last year's season of How I Met Your Mother. Then we showered up and headed out for dinner, choosing this Mediterranean place where we ended up with the weirdest waiter both of us have ever encountered. The food was food though, and since I had falafel and hummus I can't complain.

After dinner we stopped by the bar and hung out with some of Abby's friends for a little bit. Then we ended up coming back home and collapsing on the couch in our sweatpants. We were trying to figure out what movie to watch and Abby took the reigns and selected "Savages," Oliver Stone's latest. And let me tell you. It. Is. Baaaaaaad. We were laughing all the way through and we didn't really know what to make of it. Don't see it. The only bright spot was a very trimmed, toned Tim Riggins. But for him we had to put up with a weird plot, bad dialogue, and John Travolta. So be warned.

After the practically two and a half hour disaster that was "Savages," Abby felt bad and popped "Sweet Home Alabama" into then DVD player. She knows what'll make me happy. We gushed and quoted and sighed our way through the movie, obviously.

Then we went out to the backyard and took in the beautiful night. The stars were out and we sat by the pool and talked about life, the big things and the small things and everything in between. Abby and I were never super close in high school but ever since I got here we've tackled just about every subject. We're both in such transitory states right now and our lives have taken a lot of different turns since graduating from VA. Like I've said, we're such different people. Our personalities are polar opposites, but we share so much. We like all of the same things and have been through some of the same shit. It's nice to have a friend who sees the world in some of the same ways as I do.

One week from today I'll be back in Massachusetts. I haven't really given myself a chance to process this. In some ways it feels like I've been gone forever, but on the other hand I'm not sure if I'm ready to go home just yet. Everything is still up in the air, and as soon as I get home I'll have to sort through it all. But I think I'm in a much better headspace to be able to attempt to untangle it all.

Tonight, as we let ourselves become entranced by the night sky, Abby asked me if I was happy. Without thinking, without pausing, and without giving myself time to come up with a facet of my life that is troubling me, I said yes. And I am. This year/this trip/this week I have a lot to be thankful for. Happiness is number one on my list.